Smart Girl
by VickyVicarious
Summary: Sometimes it takes a smart person to do the stupidest thing. Team 7 unrequited love triangle; Sakura POV.


Sakura is a smart girl. She may act stupid sometimes, but it's less a matter of intelligence than it is her inability to accept what she sees – because she sees it all so clearly it _hurts_.

She is in love with Sasuke. She saw him for who he really was a long time ago, and it's simultaneously far more and far less than her cool idol of the academy. He's a brat at times, obsessed with revenge and possessing almost no social skills at all. He can be very cruel to anyone who isn't one of his precious people, and he's simply not perfect by any means, but –she loves him. Truly. And now that Sakura _is_ one of his precious people, finally, he lets his guard down around her in all sorts of tiny ways that she's certain he doesn't realize.

But Sakura does.

And she sees everything that he's no longer hiding from her, takes it all in because he is her most important person and she wants, _needs_ to know him more and more. Because she is a smart girl, and she is in love, and denial may be strong but it can't be enough forever.

Sakura wonders if Kakashi sees what she sees. He probably does, and he probably chuckles without mirth as they all watch each other, and pretends it's about his porn. And no one notices but her because they're just dense teenage boys after all, they don't care about anything but themselves.

They don't see anything but…

Naruto loves her. Sakura knows this, and she also knows that his love is far purer and deeper than the one she holds for Sasuke will ever be. It stings, to see that. It hurts, to know that the clumsy idiot she's always put down adores her, truly and for who she is with all her flaws, and will never give up on her. It actually causes her physical _pain_ sometimes because she knows she could never be with him. Almost more for his sake than her own, because Sakura can _see_ how much he loves her, and it's impossible for her to love anyone that deeply, let alone Naruto.

But she knows she could love him at least a little, though not anywhere near what he deserves. There have been those hints, every now and then. But then Sasuke comes along and she feels it all through her, this deep _rightness_ despite her logic telling her everything that is wrong with it. And her feelings may not be as true as Naruto's, but Sakura sometimes thinks Naruto is the truest person there has ever been or will be, so that doesn't hurt too much.

Oh, but how he _watches_ her, and she is so cruel.

And she will be watching Sasuke too, so desperate and not nearly as strong as Naruto but so much smarter, and she will _see it again_ –

No, Kakashi actually probably doesn't laugh at this. Sakura can see the sympathy in his gaze sometimes, the almost-pity and sadness because how can this ever change? And he loves them all somehow, like a strange sort of second father to her and perhaps the only one for her boys, but he can't do a thing to help them.

Sasuke's not the only one with good eyes. Sakura's smart and in love and observant, and she can only deny the simple cruelty of it for so long, and eventually one day she just _can't_ hide anymore. And she sees it.

Naruto watches her.

She watches Sasuke.

Sasuke watches… Naruto.

It's subtle, of course, that's how she denies it so long even to herself, why no one outside their team has a clue. Not why Naruto doesn't know, because he's denser than anyone except perhaps Lee, but – it's definitely there, and obvious once she admits it.

Sasuke watches Naruto greedily in the exact same way Naruto watches her and she watches Sasuke. Sasuke talks to Naruto, only Naruto, in that tone of voice. Fights Naruto, only Naruto, with that spark in his eyes, and – when they separate at the end of every day, Sasuke looks down at the road while Naruto asks Sakura out on a date and gets rejected yet again. He waits it out, then lifts his head, eyes sharp, and snorts contempt and Naruto whirls on him in anger and Sasuke _smirks_ –

And it hurts, it's so obvious. It stings deep within her heart all the more because it isn't Naruto's _fault_, just like it's not hers or Sasuke's; they're all just victims and none of them will ever let go.

Because Sakura is smart and she sees things others don't. Sasuke maybe feels more than she does, but not most, because Naruto definitely feels the most about everything, and this is no exception. But here if anywhere the tiniest amount from Sasuke matters so much more than everything Naruto's got.

And Naruto doesn't see it, and he's _killing_ Sasuke. Killing Sakura by extension, because perhaps if Naruto saw it too Sakura would be okay with this (she's used to them leaving her behind after all) but he doesn't and never will. Sasuke will never tell him; he'll just look at the ground to the end of his days, eyes sharp and dark, and he will smirk like that.

Sakura doesn't like to admit that she's the one killing Naruto in the first place, playing her part and completing the circle. She knows it's true, but she doesn't like to admit it, and somehow that makes what she's doing right now seem more okay. Even though it's still completely all wrong and sick and won't change a thing except make them all worse, but she's _breaking_ just watching and it's time to do something.

Sakura has always had excellent chakra control. She's not got a bad sense of tactics, either. She picks the right moment, forms the right handseals, and does the cruelest thing she has ever done.

"Oi, bastard," Sakura says in a quiet voice, leaning over and smacking Sasuke on the face none too gently. He wakes with a start and glares up at her.

"What?" he snaps, and she lets her face split into the wide sort of grin it was made for. She doesn't retreat; instead she leans in even closer and fists her hands in Sasuke's shirt.

Sasuke's not like her or Naruto; he hides himself well, and knows better than to hope or get flustered usually. So it takes her saying, "Hey, bastard," again in a low voice, and flexing her grip in the fabric over his shoulders as though unsure.

It takes her hesitating slightly, almost pulling back before firming her face into a determined frown, and it takes her meeting his sharp, dark eyes straight on in a way she never has before. It takes a deep breath on her part, which she then promptly blows out into his face, grinning when he screws his nose up and shoves halfheartedly to get her away.

"What are you – get _off_ me, idiot," Sasuke says, pushing a little harder this time, and Sakura goes in for the kill.

It takes her suddenly jolting forward and pressing her lips to his, hard and rough and uncertain, and then it happens: he shoves her off properly this time so that it really _hurts_, his cheeks reddening as she falls roughly to the ground.

"What – what the hell do you – are you – hey," Sasuke is flustered as she shakes herself off and sits up again, and approaches him one more time. He leans back as she leans closer, looking more and more panicked, and she grins with all her teeth, projecting a confidence she wishes she didn't feel.

"I've been thinking that you might not be such a bastard after all," Sakura says, and this time she puts her hands right on his face, holding it still because it's twitching away. "Shut up and let me figure it out."

She pushes forward again, but slower and softer, more like _she _would want it and she knows that catches him by surprise because he doesn't react quick enough to shove her away this time. Instead he holds perfectly still for the longest moment as her lips move, and even though hers are long closed, Sakura can pinpoint the exact moment _his_ eyes fall shut.

He goes sort of limp, in a way that's more than physical, and a sort of sigh rushes out of him. "What…" he mutters so quietly she almost can't hear it, "You…"

She keeps kissing him, eyes closed, and tingles build steadily in her stomach when he slowly lifts a hand to cup the back of her head. He leans his head up and kisses her back, slowly at first, but then more and more, pressing forward, almost – no, _completely_ desperate.

And Sakura forgets everything.

He is up on his knees now, clutching her head in his hands as her hands grip hard into his shoulders, and he is kissing her and kissing her and it is more than she has ever dreamed. Because his whole body is tense in a wonderful sort of disbelief and desperation and feelings so _strong_ they overwhelm her, and she realizes: he outclasses her completely, like always. Her feelings are nothing next to these, because for all that it's her heaven with Sasuke panting into her mouth and stroking her face and kissing and kissing and kissing…

For all that her world erupts into nothing, tingles spreading everywhere and her sense of everything but _him_ disappearing, for all that she is choked and her heart feels like it is going to beat right out of her chest, for all that she _loves him so much_, for all that she's putting everything into this since it is her one and only time and she knows it –

For all that, he's feeling so much more. She can tell by the way his breath moves against her mouth, by the way he suddenly stopped questioning everything and just _went_ for it, by the way he's clinging to her so hard, his fingers clenching and stroking through her hair and on her neck and down her back and up again, by the way he's kissing and kissing and kissing.

By the way he doesn't even break away for breath, really, but does this sort of defeated sigh thing right against her lips, clings too tight to her and whispers, "_Naruto…_"

Sakura's heart breaks fast, like glass flung to the floor, and when she opens her eyes wide and jerks away he's already letting her go. His eyes are dark and sad and he didn't even need Sharingan to tell, because he's Sasuke and if Naruto did this to her she would know too.

Naruto's too kind to do this sort of thing to her now, though. She isn't, and it's no consolation that she's the one breaking apart as a result.

"…I'm sorry," she whispers, looking down at the ground and dispelling the _henge_. Her messy blond hair and bright blue eyes fade back into their original pink and green. Sasuke's not surprised, but the sight still forces a small reaction from him, a little huff of air.

There's the longest pause. They are both still panting slightly.

"No," Sasuke finally says, speaking slowly like he'd rather do anything else. He stands up, every line of his body tense with –with _something_. "Thank you."

And then he walks away, staring at the ground and not looking back, and Sakura sinks slowly down into herself, and the tears begin to come.

Just because she's smart doesn't meant she can't be stupid. And it doesn't mean she can't fight even the most hopeless cause, and it doesn't mean she can't resort to the cruelest methods and hurt them both so deeply that she _knows_ Naruto's smile will be like a knife in the gut tomorrow morning.

Because he will smile at her and scowl at Sasuke, and _watch_ her.

And she will not be able to meet his gaze and will blush at Sasuke despite herself.

And Sasuke will not look her way, not even once. He will train impossibly hard, face dull and eyes sharper than ever before, and he will see only Naruto, Naruto more than ever and most of all.

And nothing will change. Sakura knows, because she knows her team and knows herself, and nothing she does will ever, ever do a thing.

Kakashi will put a hand on her shoulder, because he sees it too. And Sakura will close her eyes tight, squeeze them impossibly shut and wish she were _stupid_ like she once was, still able to delude herself, to not know what she knows and feel what she feels.

But Sakura is a smart girl, and knowledge can't erase itself, any more than the feel of Sasuke's lips on hers.


End file.
